


Terrible and lovely

by Again_n_Again



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam hears a confession, Gansey knows about Ronan's crush, M/M, Noah is a Little Shit, pynch - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 13:30:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5628316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Again_n_Again/pseuds/Again_n_Again
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gansey urges Ronan to tell Adam about his crush.  Ronan is pissed and Noah decides to go get Adam and really blow shit up.  </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want to talk about this, he was sure of that, at least.  And yet, the words flew out of his mouth as if he didn’t just explicitly order it to stay shut – fucking fantastic.</p><p>“Adam’s straight.  Straight as a fucking arrow, Gansey.” </p><p>“I’m not sure it’s really that simple.”  Gansey spoke without ceasing his work, his hands moving skillfully and with purpose.  Ronan didn’t know whether to be pleased or infuriated with how nonchalant he was acting about this, as if they were just discussing what to order for dinner.</p><p>“Sure it is.  Adam’s a goddamn pillar of hetero-virtue, and I’m….” Ronan faltered, but Gansey finished his sentence for him.<br/>“ – super gay?  And for Adam, it seems.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Terrible and lovely

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this just sitting on my computer for over a month, so I figured I should put it up here....hope you like it!  
> I don't have tons of time to edit fanfics and such, so any mistakes are totally my fault. There are only so many times I can re-read my own absurdity.

“Geeze Dick don’t you ever sleep?” Ronan asked as he walked in to Monmouth Manufacturing late that night and saw Gansey working on his cardboard model of Henrietta.

“You’re one to talk.”  Gansey said, not looking up from his work.

“You have too many hobbies….take a break old man.”

“You need more hobbies.” Gasney said, his voice a little gargled, as he held a glue stick between his teeth.  He spit it out before adding,  “Decent ones.  Not ones that involve whatever is in those bottles in your room, or the tire marks just outside the parking lot.”

Ronan rolled his eyes magnificently.  He didn’t realize Gansey had noticed the bottles or the tire marks though.  He’d have to get better at being discreet. He didn’t like the idea that people, even his best friends, looked at him that closely.  Idly he wondered if Gansey had noticed anything else about him.

“I suppose I should just start making small model towns that take up all the space in our main living area.  Maybe I could make a copy of Henreitta out of those bottles, and we can all stub our toes every time we get up to piss.”

Gansey shook his head, and kept gluing a pitched roof to its base.  “No. Why would you waste your talent doing something like this? You can probably dream up your own real town.  Pull it right out of your head.”

Gansey shudderd at the idea.  What would a town dreamed up by Ronan even look like? Terrible and lovely probably. 

“Hah.” Ronan scoffed, but stayed close, watching Gansey work. 

“No, I’m being serious now.  You could literally create your own perfect world.  I’m surprised you haven’t tried for more yet.  I keep expecting you to leave here - move back to the barns and dream a moat around it to keep the word away.”   _Keep me away_ , is what Gasney had thought, but didn’t say.  

 

Ronan didn’t like how Gaseny sounded, too sad; his insecurities not lost on Ronan, though he usually hid them better.  Gansey must be really tired.

“Aww that wouldn’t be fair,”  Ronan teased,  “Adam's a shit swimmer.”

Gansey bobbed his head smiling from under his hair, fingers still working, holding the cardboard steady while the glue dried.  ”Yeah, well,  Adam never really stood a chance there anyway, did he?”

Ronan stiffened. His heart started beating faster.

_What was that supposed to mean?_

“He can just ask Cabeswater to float him across.  Or maybe it already taught him to fly and he just doesn’t like to show off.”  Ronan tried to play off Gansey’s comment.  It probably didn’t mean anything anyway, he thought.  But he was talking out of his ass now, and he was sure Gansey would notice.

“That’s not what I meant Ronan.  Are you ever going to talk to him about it?  I thought, maybe, that’s what you were doing there tonight, but then you came home, and….”

Ronan raked a hand across his face.  Was he really this transparent?  Had Gansey known this whole time?  He toed the cardboard bank in front of him, pushing it forward slightly, needing something to focus on.  He didn’t want to talk about this, he was sure of that, at least.  And yet, the words flew out of his mouth as if he didn’t just explicitly order it to stay shut – fucking fantastic.

“Adam’s straight.  Straight as a fucking arrow, Gansey.”

“I’m not sure it’s really that simple.”  Gansey spoke without ceasing his work, his hands moving skillfully and with purpose.  Ronan didn’t know whether to be pleased or infuriated with how nonchalant he was acting about this, as if they were just discussing what to order for dinner.

“Sure it is.  Adam’s a goddamn pillar of hetero-virtue, and I’m….” Ronan faltered. 

He’d never said so much about this to Gansey before, and he wasn’t sure he could get the words out now either.  How had this even started?  He didn’t come home thinking now’s the time to come out to his first true friend, but then again, he didn’t really need to because Gansey finished his sentence for him.

“ – super gay?  And for Adam, it seems.”

Ronan’s blood stilled.  No one had ever called him that before, well except Kavinsky, but never in a way that made it feel as if a bomb had just gone off in his chest, and he was now trying to breathe through the whiteout.  If it was anyone else, they would have a fist through the back of their skull by now, but Gansey – Gansey spoke without humor…it wasn’t a punch line to some joke.  He was just stating it, like he would the color of Ronan’s eyes, or the cut of his hair.

His voice came out scratchy and raw when he spoke next, “Gansey…uh…”

Gansey turned to him then, finally looking at his best friend, pushing his spectacles up on his nose.  “Ronan.  We don’t need to talk about this.  It’s doesn’t need to be a _thing_ …unless you would like it to be.  I know.  I’ve known.  That’s not what matters.  What matters is you letting this Adam thing tear you apart from the inside out.  _Tell him.”_

This was too much all at once, and Ronan was instantly and irrationally angry at Gansey for his compassion.

“Oh and I’m sure this just has absolutely _nothing_ to do with you chomping at the bit to get your chance with the psychics daughter?” Ronan’s fists were clenched now, and he could hear the sharpness of his words, chosen specifically to cut and pierce.

Gansey closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  He held one hand up, either asking for a moment or holding Ronan back….Ronan couldn’t be sure.  And when he spoke, Gansey could just as easily have been on a podium at one of his mother’s congressional rallies, for all the authority and sincerity in his voice.

“Ronan.  Her name is Blue.  And I would appreciate you calling her that.  Or Jane, for that matter.  This however, is not about me.  I care about you and I want you to be happy.  I’m not blind and I’d like to think that I’ve been your friend long enough to pick up on the signals.  If you do want to talk about my feelings for Jane, we can do that too…but I don’t want you trying to distract me out of anger or the somewhat uncomfortable nature of this conversation.”

“Jesus Dick!”  Ronan shook with a silent laugher that contained zero humor.  He kicked over the bank, but then looked sorry about it.  He watched Gansey retrieve the little building and set it carefully back in its rightful place.   In silent surrender Ronan crossed his arms, shoving his fists behind his elbows because he still didn’t trust himself completely.

Gansey cleared his throat, and the perfect princeling façade was back in place.  Only Ronan was able to see that there was still true caring hidden behind his eyes.  It really pissed him off.

“You know, Jane and Adam never kissed.”

Gansey was now gluing a hinge on a front door when he said this; his body language giving nothing away.

Ronan didn’t know that.  Sometimes, when he was unable to sleep, or too scared to, he would lay in bed wondering if Blue was meeting Adam after his shift.  Ronan pictured Adam’s perfect, long fingers combing through Blues hair, and the image never failed to rip through him.  Would Adam sigh into Blues mouth?  Would he use his work hardened arms to pull her closer – onto his lap maybe?  There were a million ways he imagined them together, and each one was a knife in his heart.  Briefly, Ronan wondered if Gansey had been silently suffering the same way.

“Did the magg- Blue tell you that?”  Ronan asked, trying for nonchalance and failing miserably.

“Yes, actually, she did.  They only ever really hung out with all of us -  and then, well, they broke up.”

“Well good for them.  They both suck.”

Gansey laughed lightly.  But then took a heavy breath through his nose, suddenly looking much older than he was.  Guilt started creeping up inside Ronan.  He wasn’t the only one struggling.

“I’m just trying to point out” Gansey continued, voice tight, “that one, shot-lived, non-physical relationship with a female does not conclusively prove someone’s sexuality.” 

“FUCK! Gansey!  Are we really talking about this?  I mean – first: Parrish would kill us….or have Cabeswater do it.  Secondly:  I never even said I felt that way about him.”

“You haven’t denied it yet either.” Gansey pointed out.  A little too smugly for Ronan’s taste.

“UGH!”  Ronan kicked the bank again, hard this time.  The cardboard folded in on itself, and instead of dramatically flying across the room like Ronan had hoped, it curved around his foot and got stuck there.

He ran his hands from the back of his neck up his scalp as if he was trying to peel his skin off, and then dropped down on the floor next to Gansey, pulling the effectively destroyed bank off his foot.   He handed the box back to Gansey, who just held it close, closing his eyes for a moment.

“Sorry.”  Ronan whispered.

“Ronan.” Gansey continued in a quieter voice than before.  This wasn’t his commander voice, but his boy voice, his friend voice.  “He looks at you too.  A lot.  He does things for you he’d never do for anyone else.  He lets you do things for him that he’d never let anyone else do for him.  That’s not _nothing_.  I can’t tell you where Adam’s… _interests_ lie.”  He said the word “interests” like he thought of it at the last moment, to fill in for another word he found slightly distasteful.  “But, you’ll never know if…”

“If I what Gansey?  What really?  I want you to tell me how you can see this going down?”  Ronan’s words came out venomous and quickly.  He spit them at Gansey, rapid-fire.

“Oh hello Adam,  would you mind filling me in on your sexual orientation so I can decide whether or not any advances on my part will be met with scorn or perhaps a fist in my face!”

Out of the corner of his eye Ronan saw Noah appear, he raised a hand like he wanted to contribute something to the argument, but Ronan was furious and continued regardless.  He couldn’t really flesh out why he was directing his anger at Gansey, but having to explain verbally why Adam would never be interested in him, felt like punishment.  It was hard enough thinking it in his head.  He felt some days like he would drown in the _want_ he felt - the _love_ he felt for someone who could never return his feelings.  And here he was, having to lay all that shit out over some old cereal boxes in the middle of the night.  He was all raging electricity with no outlet; there was nowhere for this energy to go, so it raged within him, a storm, until like a lightning, he lashed out in every direction.

Gansey just stared at Ronan…not sure what to say.  Noah was starting to look nervous, his smile faltering into something else.  Ronan started pacing.

“And while I’m at it, I’ll just start waving a little rainbow flag, yeah?  That way I can make it really fucking clear!  Parrish won’t even have to guess.  Not that I’ve ever hid it!  Or said otherwise.  Why would I have to?   It’s not that I’m ashamed.  BECAUSE I’m NOT!  FUCK!”

Ronan hands were at his chest, both fists wringing in the fabric of his tank, and Gansey wondered if he realized that he was clutching at his own heart.  It pained Gansey to now see fully, just how badly Ronan was hurting.  How long had he been feeling this way, holding it in? 

“ You’re argument is the Reductio ad absurdum of what I said.” Gansey told him. 

“I just – What would I say Gansey?  You tell me. I mean it!  Should I tell him that I dream about him?  That I can’t fucking stand the distance he puts between us.  Every time I think that _maybe_ …. there’s this wall there.  Is it me?  Is it because I’m just too fucked up?  Because if Adam isn’t 100% straight like you seem to think, than that means it’s _me_ Gansey.  That means there is something wrong with _me_.  I get it though.  Just fucking look at me…  Adam is – Adam is….so much.  And I’m…I’m just empty.”

Gansey looked for a moment like he might cry, but when Ronan looked to Noah, he was smirking again.  And that was just the fucking end for him.

“What is so goddammed amusing Czerny?”

Gansey shot Noah a warning look, appalled at his lack of sensitivity.

“No Ronan, I’m sure that’s not…”, but Gansey’s words were cut off by a light knocking at the door.

They all turned to the sound, as Noah flicked out of sight with a giggle.  The bastard. 

Gansey looked right to Ronan, eyes wide.  He was visibly shaken; Ronan’s face was pale; there was only one person that would be there at that time of night.  Without another word Ronan stomped off to his room and slammed the door.

Gansey, with much effort, pulled himself off the floor, and walked to the door to open it, and wasn'tsurprised to see Adam on the other side, head hung low, and leaning against the doorframe.  He shuffled his feet nervously.

“Adam.  Hello.”  Gansey flashed him his most impressive smile. “Um, how long have you been waiting?”

The real question was obvious.  By way of answer Adam just raised his eyes to meet Gansey’s.  His lids were heavy and puffy and grief stricken, brows pulled tightly together.

“Ronan forgot his bag.  I figured I’d just give it to him tomorrow at school, but Noah showed up and told me he needed it for some reason.   That it was important.”

The curve on Gansey’s smile got a little sharper.  “Oh, did he now?”

Adam just nodded, slowly, like he’d rather curl up in himself and die than be standing here, talking with Gansey in the middle of the night.

“Do you want me to take it to him?”  Gansey asked. 

Adam knew that this was Gansey letting him off the hook – giving him a break – allowing him to leave here and pretend like he never heard anything – pretend that they all didn’t know.  Gansey was giving Adam the chance to run.  To say “no” to Ronan.

“No.”  Adam said.  “I’ll do it.”

Gansey nodded but looked unsure.  He moved aside to let Adam pass, but before Adam could move further into the room a strong grip took hold of his forearm.  

“I know how he seems.”  Gansey said.  “But he’s not as tough as he looks.   Do you understand?”

Adam did, but he pulled his arm away.  He didn’t mean to do it as roughly as he did, so when Gansey took an uneasy step back, Adam placed a hand on his shoulder and added a brief pat to compensate. He nodded his head twice before walking up to Ronan’s bedroom door.

As Adam walked to Ronan’s room, he had time for his mind to race around a hundred different scenarios of how this could turn out.  He really only wanted one, but was not sure how to recover from this.  Adam reached out to the leyline, looking for some strength, but even the feeling of the forest that immediately whisperd over his skin reminded him of Ronan. 

Gansey was wrong about that though.  No one was stronger than Ronan.  But he guessed he knew what he meant.  Adam took a deep breath and opened the bedroom door, not bothering to knock.  Ronan would only tell him to “Fuck Off” anyway.

Predictably, Ronan was stretched out on his bed, arms crossed behind his head, and headphones on, eyes closed.  A picture of calm relaxation.

Adam knew better. 

“You know, this would be a lot more believable, if I hadn’t seen you pull this move on Declan enough times.”

Adam was sure Ronan could hear him, even though he didn’t flinch. He did think he saw Ronan’s jaw tighten though. Cabeswater seemed to be gently pushing Adam forward, telling him he was on the right path.  Maybe this _would_ work.  Adam hoped. 

 _Just rip the bandaid off_ , he thought.

“That was some speech out there.”  He said calmly, and that’s all it took.

Ronan’s eyes snapped open and pinned Adam where he stood.  His mouth was a thin slash across his carved marble face. 

 _So strong,_ Adam thought again.

“Can I help you with something?” Ronan asked in the most terrifying display of politeness Adam had ever witnessed.

“Or did you come in here just to be a dick?”

“Am I being a dick?”  _Cool down, Adam._   He thought to himself.  His voice was already getting sharper and Ronan smirked, glad to have gotten a rise out of him so easily.

“I brought your bag back.  You’re welcome.”

Ronan looked at the bag hanging in Adam’s hand as he tossed it onto the floor away from him in an act of irritation.

“It’s late as hell by the way, but Noah told me you needed this stuff…so I came anyway.”

At the mention of Noah, Ronan looked murderous, his fists clenching at his sides, his chest rising and falling quickly as he worked to hide his anger and embarrassment.

“Listen, Lynch…” Adam walked closer, and sat himself down on the edge of Ronan’s bed, facing away from him, looking at the door, wondering if he should just make a run for it instead.

“Just go.”  Ronan said.  Cutting off Adam's words and his line of thought.

“What?”

“Just.  Go.”  Ronan’s eyes were closed again.  But when he opened them, all he said was “Please.”

Adam hung his head.  This was too fucking much.  Ronan was making it seem like not having Adam was a loss.   As if Adam was something worthwhile, something a boy like Ronan would crave.  As if Adam was something barred from him.  How ridiculous.  It had always been the other way around.  Ronan was untouchable.  Ronan was magic and wealth and power and beauty, and Adam was….just Adam.  

But he had heard.  He heard Ronan’s words like lightning in his heart.  It was all just so unreal.  Hearing him now, seeing the way he struggled to keep his shoulders straight, like all he wanted to do was hunch in on himself, made Adam’s chest contract.  There was no air in his lungs.

Carefully, he reached out a hand.  This was not allowed.  He told himself so a thousand times before - but now…maybe?

His fingers found a patch of exposed skin around Ronan ankle.  He wrapped his hand around it, marveling at how smooth the skin was there, and when Ronan didn’t pull away, he was finally able to breathe; the touch grounding him.  Adam gave Ronan a minute to change his mind, before he rubbed his thumb back and forth over the bone there.  It was such a soft bit of skin, hard bone underneath. _Fuck_.  Adam wanted to let his hand trail farther, (Ronan’s legs were something that always drew his eye) but he kept it there. 

“So, maybe…UGhhhhhh.” Adam groaned and fidgeted in his seat.  With great effort he managed to turn and face Ronan, who was sitting stiffly at the top of the bed.  Ronan’s ears were burning, but his face was still pale.  He looked like an animal caught in a bright light that he wasn’t prepared for. 

Adam’s mouth went dry, but he forced himself to say what he needed to say.  “If you want, maybe you and I could go out somewhere together Friday, after my shift?  Just us.” 

Adam forced himself to keep looking Ronan in the eye when he asked.  He wouldn’t shy away.  Not if he was going to really do this.

Ronan’s face went bright red, but his voice was low and eerily steady as he said,  “Get. The. Hell. Out. Of. Here. Parrish.”  He sounded angrier than Adam had ever heard him.  It was a terrible blow, but not completely unexpected.  Why would anything with Ronan Lynch be easy? 

“I asked you nicely the first time.” Ronan said.

“Is that a no?”  Adam asked, working to keep himself still, gaze steady; all the time he had spend alone with Lynch, he’d picked up some of his tricks.

Ronan practically snarled his response. “You -”  Ronan stopped.  He closed his eyes for a second, his chest rose high with the intake of a deep breath, and Adam realized with some alarm, that he was trying to rein in his anger.  “ You - of all people should know how fucked up that is!” 

He was accusing Adam of something, but Adam wasn’t sure of what.  He cocked his head, confused.  Ronan continued.  “I’m not looking for charity Parrish!  Seriously, I’d rather just never see you again, than have you look at me like this!”

“Like what?” Adam snapped. “Like I’m nervous?  I’m not allowed to be nervous?  You’ve liked me for how long now and never got the balls to ask me out, so I’m doing it now!  It’s not _fun_ , okay – but I’m doing it, so I’d appreciate a little slack!” 

Adam’s voice had risen louder, so he took a deep breath to get his own temper back under control.  _God-  What a pair they were!_

“Dammit Lynch!  Why do you have to be so difficult?”

Ronan just raised an eyebrow, a ghost of a smile playing over his lips.  Or at least Adam thought he maybe saw one, for just a moment.

“Listen, I’m not going to force you to go out with me, I just hoped that you’d want to.”

“ _Reeeally_?”  Ronan asked, the word was drowning in sarcasm.

Adam just looked at him, wide pointed eyes, telling him that he could go fuck himself if he thought that he was going to ask again.

Ronan shook his head, like he was trying to shake the nonsense out of it.  “You’re asking me out?  On a date? --- Like, that is what is happening right now?”

Adam didn’t answer; he just kept staring at Ronan, trying to figure out what he was thinking.  Then Ronan laughed a little, throwing Adam completely off.

“Where are we going?”  Ronan asked, his eyes softening for the first time, though his mouth was still a tight dark line.  He was teasing Adam.  But it was better than Ronan’s rage, so Adam ran with it.

“That sounds like a _yes_.”  Adam smirked, and reached out for Ronan’s ankle again.  This time he felt Ronan flinch at the contact, but he still didn't pull away.

“It’s not.”  Ronan said, deadpan. 

“Well, I guess…umm…we could go see a movie?”

“God, Parrish.  You are terrible at this!”

Adam let out a loud groan and fell backwards on the bed, across Ronan’s legs.

Ronan looked down at Adam, his eyes were closed, but his cheeks were flushed the brightest pink.  It stretched from his left ear, over both cheeks, across the bridge of his nose, and over to the right.  It was lovely.

“I’m actually starting to feel a little sympathy for the Maggot.”  Ronan teased again, because what else could he do?

Adam groaned and swallowed hard.  Ronan tracked the movement with his eyes.

“Just give me a damn _yes_ or _no,_ Lynch.” He sighed.

“Okay.”  Ronan said.

“Okay?”  Adam asked.

“Okay!”  Ronan said again, annoyance creeping back into his raised voice.  “But, let me deal with the details, okay?   Really, I don’t want to end up in some backwoods rodeo or some hick shit like that.”

Adam couldn’t help but laugh, though he still smacked Ronan for good measure, before saying:

“Okay.  Pick me up after 9…you can drive.”

Ronan smirked.  “I figured.”

Adam, whose head was now lying uncomfortably  across Ronan’s knees, looked up to find that Ronan was leaning a little closer than he was before; his face pinched up into some emotion Adam was surprised to realize he couldn’t place.   Adam couldn’t help smiling at how ridiculous he looked; he smiled wide with teeth, and was pleased to see that Ronan was starting to smile too, even if he fought it, but Adam could see it shining through his eyes _.  Strong, but soft_.  Adam stroked Ronan’s ankle again. 

He realized then, embarrassingly enough, that he’s always wanted to touch him there.  It was nice. 

Ronan reached out to him and tucked a hand under his neck.  Ronan’s fingers were strong and gentle at the same time.  Adam’s body was a riot of nerves as he let himself be pulled forward.  Before he could panic or lunge (who knows really which was more likely) Ronan tucked him neatly into the curve of his own body and kissed him on the mouth.  All the lights inside Adam turned on.  _Soft and Strong_.  Warm and firm and wet.  There were so many ways to describe Ronan now, none of which he would have thought of before this night.

Adam was horrified when a whimper escaped his mouth as Ronan pulled away.  Ronan’s eyes were still closed and instead of shirking away, he decided to chase the warmth of Ronan’s lips, pulling himself up further on the bed.  Adam felt more than heard a giggle, _a straight up giggle_ , come from Ronan, as Adam pushed him back down on the bed.  Adrenaline flooding through Adam the moment Ronan allows him to do this.  _Strong but soft._   He thinks again. 

_Strong: Ronan’s hand as it finds its way into Adam’s hair and tugs, the other tightly grasping his bicep._

_Soft: Ronan’s lips yielding as Adam pushes harder against them. Kissing them again and again and again._

_Soft: the feel of Ronan’s skin as Adam grazes his hand up and under Ronan’s thin shirt._

Without thinking, Adam rolls his hips down onto Ronan.

“Shit! Adam!”

Ronan pulled back from the kiss, and looked at Adam, puzzled; their breath mingling in the small expanse of space between their lips.  Adam scrunches up his face in embarrassment, because he’s sure that he looks as wrecked as he feels.  He knows his hair is sticking up and he can feel the heat coursing through his body that must be painting his skin a horrifying shade of maroon.

“Sorry.”  Adam said, and wiggles away, trying to put some distance between them.  He knows there must be a noticeable pitch in his pants and his mind is dancing with the memory of feeling the most sensitive part of Ronan pressed into his hip.  He needed to stop thinking about that right now.  It would definitely not help the situation.

“Not even one date and you’re already trying to get in my pants.  What kind of guy do you think I am?” Ronan’s tone is mocking, but his voice sounds as wrecked as Adam feels.  _Good._

“The kind I want to date.”  Adam answers, going for broke. 

That shuts Ronan up, and Adam is glad that he can startle him too.

Ronan swallows. Then his face slips easily into something relatively normal.  Adam is impressed at his control.

“Alright.  Get out of here.  I need my beauty sleep.”  Ronan needed to put some distance between them, and fast.  He was sure he’d let Adam have whatever he wanted, if he didn’t leave now.

Adam tried to discreetly adjust himself, though he knew it was a useless endeavor.

“I’ll see you Friday then?”

“Yes, Parrish.”

“Maybe…we can pick up where we left off.”  Adam said with a furious blush; he can’t help flirting now.  Watching Ronan’s face twist and grin with that mischievous glint in his eyes was getting addictive.

“Pfft!”  Ronan scoffed, aiming gallantly for unaffected nonchalance. “If you’re lucky.”

“I’m always lucky.” Adam said, jutting his chin forward and raising his eyebrows in a dare.  And then, standing up, Adam leaned over Ronan to kiss him.  He trailed his tongue along the dip of Ronan’s closed lips, and then deeper when Ronan opened to him, a gentle moan tumbling right out of Ronan’s mouth and straight to into Adam’s heart.  He grins, and knowing that Ronan could feel it, though their eyes were closed.

“Fuck you.  Parrish.”

“That’s a third date activity, at least, Lynch.  Don’t get needy.”

He kissed Ronan one more time across his sharp cheek bone and then walked out the door.  His body buzzing.  He was surprised he didn’t float out of the room on his own electric charge with the way he was feeling.  He hoped he at least looked cool though.

***

Ronan just lied there, reminding himself to breathe, reminding himself to exist, because he has a date this Friday. A date.  What the actual fuck!  And Adam (lizard son) Parrish just kissed him.  It was more of a hurricane than a kiss, really.  Ronan was wrecked.  His heart flopped uselessly in his chest.  There was no way he would be able to sleep tonight.

 

***

“Shouldn’t you be holding a shot gun for this?”  Adam asked Gansey mockingly, as he tried to walk past him out of Monmouth.

“I’m being serious here Adam, and I would like an answer.”

“Gansey, really?  You want to know what my intentions are with Ronan…Ronan!”  Adam’s mouth hung open a little at the absurdity of it all.

“I think it’s a fair question.”  Gansey states, looking somehow like a little boy and a father figure at the same time.  His hair was mussed and shiny, and he kept pushing his glasses up higher on his nose, a sign of his barely contained anxiety.

“I _intend,"_   Adam said, elongating the word as much as he could to let Gansey know just how much he was hating this,  "to hang out with Ronan on Friday.” 

And then for good measure he added, “You’re not invited.” 

 

“Should we talk about safety precautions?”  He asked, and Adam’s stomach fell out of his mouth and dropped on to the floor at his feet.

Gansey cocked his head, and looked slightly perplexed at the horrified look on Adams face, and the redness creeping up his neck and ears before he amended his previous statement.

“Oh God!  No!  No, Adam, I meant…Cabeswater….Greenmantle….you two being alone - without us.  I just want to make sure you’re both safe…uh --keeping an eye out.”

Gansey ran a hand over his eyes, pausing for a long breath, and then through his hair.  He shuffled his feet and then without looking at Adam, he said again, a bit hurriedly “Well, I’m sure you both can figure it all out.  I’ll see you at school tomorrow.  Goodnight.”

“Yeah, Goodnight.”  Adam said, as he rushed past Gansey not looking him in the eye, and almost tripping over his own feet to get away.

Though, before he broke out into the dark Virginia night, Adam stopped, leaning his head against the door jam.  Everything that had just happened was rushing back to him now, his body was spiked with energy and his muscles felt heavy and weak.  He and Ronan had just kissed, and they were going to go out on a date.  His heart hammered against his chest.  He pulled himself upright and took a deep breath though his nose, biting at his bottom lip, hoping to taste any remnant of Ronan remaining on his lips.  His insides were a riot, but his hands were steady; for some reason that made him smile.  There was no way he would be able to sleep tonight.  He should be surprised at how easily Ronan had worked him up, but he wasn’t.  Not even a little bit.  Sure, the kissing thing was new, but Ronan always had been able to work Adam up, one way or another; he was just calling it by a different name now.

Adam ran his hands down over his thin jacket, trying to straighten it out.  He hoped he didn’t look as rattled on the outside as he felt on the inside, not that anyone could see him now.  All his nerves were alight.  He couldn’t wait till Friday.

He was definitely going to do that again – kiss Ronan, if he let him.  Adam thought that he might; he smirked to himself.

Adam ran his tongue over his bottom lip again as he pushed open the door to walk out to his car.  He had so much to look forward to for once.

***

Gansey knocked on Ronan’s door, but there was no answer.  He pushed it open gently, peeking his head through the crack.  Ronan was spread out on his bed, headphones on, stroking Chainsaw’s inky feathers as she twisted her head, this way and that, against Ronan’s fingers.

Seeing that Ronan was not, in fact, in a rage or (equally terrifying) a fit of despair, Gansey thought it safe to enter, and sat himself on the edge of Ronan’s bed.

Ronan didn’t open his eyes.

“So Adam left here looking rather smug.”

One of Ronan’s eyes cracked open.  Then shut again just as quickly.  But Gansey thought he saw a quirk in the set of his mouth before if disappeared again.

“He told me you both are hanging out of Friday.”

Gansey waited, and for a long moment Ronan didn’t answer him, and he wondered if he was being purposefully ignored or if Ronan really was listening to music and just had not heard him.  He was about to stand up and leave when Ronan said, “We hang out most Fridays.”

Gansey nodded, and smiled despite himself. 

“Yes, that’s very true.  But….”

“Arrrhgghhh.”  Ronan growled as he rolled over onto his stomach, face down in his pillow.  Chainsaw flew up in irritation and squawked in Gansey’s direction, clearly blaming him for the disruption.  His face pinched up at the bird; he didn’t like being judged by her too! 

“I am going to assume - that you don’t want to talk about this with me.  But I would be remiss if I didn’t let you know that I’m here if you ever do want to talk.  About anything.”

Ronan stayed quiet, his face shoved into his pillow so aggressively Gansey wondered if he could breathe. He just watched him for a moment longer, letting the idea of _Ronan & Adam_ sink into his head. Gansey’s gaze surveyed the room, and on his way out he picked up three books that were lying haphazardly open off the floor and stacked  them neatly on a small table by the door.  As Gansey went to close the door behind him, he heard “Thanks, man” so light, that if he didn’t know Ronan so well, would have thought it was meant for someone else. 

The tension in Gansey’s shoulders vanished as he walked back to his desk, and he was not overly surprised when he found himself smiling into a faded, sour smelling old book.  Ronan and Adam _did_ make sense….didn’t they?  He was tentative in the hope that Ronan would have someone; someone who understood him and could deal with his extreme moodiness and sensitivity.  Adam too…Adam needed someone strong enough to not shirk away from his strangeness, his power.  Gansey closed his eyes, and rubbed at the bridge of his nose.  If anyone could handle one of them, it would be the other.  He smiled.  Then he called Blue, a new kind of hope blooming in his chest.

 

 


End file.
